Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
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WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
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Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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