i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize