The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
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You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
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Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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