Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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