I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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