four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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