Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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