so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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