you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize