had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
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The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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