"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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