it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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