she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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