we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
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I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
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Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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