Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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