I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize