bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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