My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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