I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize