thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
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There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
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There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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