Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
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She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
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Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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