He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize