K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
id be glad to
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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