I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize