I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize