i don't plan on having that self control this summer
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
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Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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