Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
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The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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