What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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