he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize