We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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