If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize