You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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