You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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