why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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