who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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