I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
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Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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