I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize