No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
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you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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