he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I have feelings that need drinking.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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