so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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