what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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