im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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