I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize