I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
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Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
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We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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