Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
grandma shit on top of the toilet
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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