I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
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its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
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Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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