I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize