how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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