just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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