i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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